Hunting down old friends
When I first planned this trip and then decided as I had resigned that I could stay on longer, my first thought was to go and see my old friends Ira and Sam. I have known them since the mid 80’s when they came to England to help manage a printing franchise.
Barry was the man in my life at the time and he reported into Ira. Ira turned up at Heathrow in his cowboy boots and stetson. I seem to remember he had a few issues getting into the country, probably sparked by the way he was dressed!
Playing the corporate wife
Ira and Barry hit it off immediately and the four of us traveled quite a lot for business. It’s probably hard to imagine, but in those days I was playing the role of a corporate wife as well as working in my first IT job for the London Borough of Hackney. We had a lot of fun together. Barry was the sort of person who liked to travel, go places, do things. He was extremely well traveled there was always something on the agenda for us.
I remember the four of us being in Edinburgh together hosting a business dinner. Ira made a speech and was completely unable to pronounce Edinburgh. Everyone was laughing at his attempts, yes there was more than one.
We also went to France and stayed in a gite together, where there was a resident mouse. Portugal and Venice were other ports of call. I have very fond memories of those times. in the eighties and the nineties I visited Ira and Sam three times. Firstly in San Francisco, then twice in Los Angeles. The last time I took Ásgeir who was only three months old.
An invitation to stay
I decided I must seem them, after all it’s been 26 years. I sent Ira a message and an email but heard nothing back which was unusual. Eventually I decided to use snail mail, and included in the letter my email address and telephone number. I got an email reply shortly afterwards saying that they had moved from Boulder. The new occupant of their old house wasn’t sure where to. On the very same day I saw a posting on Facebook by their daughter in law, Lily, with pictures of both Sam and Ira.
Kelly said she felt it was serendipity that brought me there at that time
I quickly friend requested her and sent a message saying I was trying to get in touch. She responded immediately and then put me in touch with Sam. To cut a long story short, well not that long really, Sam invited me to stay with them in Colorado. It was only going to be a quick stop, but it was agreed that I would stay the week.
News about Ira
Sam told me then that Ira had been unwell over the past few years. Once I had arrived on their doorstep it was clear how unwell Ira was. He was so pleased to see me and asked immediately after Ásgeir. It transpired that Ira had had a major a heart bypass around 2008. But he has since suffered multiple small strokes, and one significant stroke.
He is also suffering from a form of dementia, brought about by his heart condition. I asked Sam prior to writing this, if it was alright to talk about Ira’s health? She was more than happy for me to do so. She said it wasn’t widely known that he was ill. Let’s face it it’s never an easy conversation to have.
Catching up
One of their daughters, Kelly, lives nearby with her husband Rick, and on the Sunday when we were out walking, she asked me if I was shocked to see how he was. I replied that I was, but there was something in the photographs I saw on Facebook which told me he wasn’t the old Ira. Kelly said she felt it was serendipity that brought me there at that time, and I truly believe it was.
Sam and I were immediately on the same page, like the last 26 years simply hadn’t happened, it was so good to be together. There was a huge amount of catching up to do, and even in a week we could not cover it all. I had my own quarters in the basement, and the use of a car if I wanted to go off exploring. But to be honest once I had arrived I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with the two of them.
The hunt for Ira
The days were easy, we went for a walk in the morning and early lunch, which Ira got up for and early dinner which Ira got up for. Conversation was limited with him, and he generally went back to bed after food. Occasionally he was confused especially when we had something on the agenda. We went out for a walk one morning and Sam rang him to check he was OK. He said he was up and ready to go out. We thought that meant he wanted to go on his motorised scooter for a walk with us, so we rushed back. But we couldn’t find him in the house anywhere,
I looked in the garage to see if his scooter was there, it was. Then Sam rang him, he was sitting in the car, in the garage, in the dark, and I hadn’t seen him. He was ready to go to Kelly and Rick’s for dinner. We had to get him out and explain that we weren’t going until 5 pm.
the Weinstein scandal broke this week
Putting the tools in place
After that little episode I made sure they were both set up with Find Friends in their phones. Having seen my father suffer with Alzheimer’s and my sister Laura lose her life to a brain tumour, I have experienced these things before. But that doesn’t stop you feeling an overwhelming sorrow at the loss of someone who is still alive, but no longer the person you knew. Having said that we did still manage to have a bit of a laugh together. There were occasional glimpses of the old Ira, giving me the eye when I said something to him that was a bit cheeky, or when I was telling him off. Then the trip to the supermarket, when he knocked over the displays with the store scooter!
Is that right Di?
One of the things they remember about our time together in the UK was that Barry always used to say to me, “Is that right Di?” I have absolutely no recollection of this, but they both said it happened all the time. It has become a well know phrase or saying in their household. Even their children know what it means. I thought that was so funny, that it had stayed with them all these years. That’s probably why Lily knew who I was!
Sam’s art work.
Sam was an artist long before I knew her and when they moved from California to Colorado her dry period ended and she started painting again. Their house is full of her beautiful paintings. She told me there was one of me in Ira’s office, and my goodness I recognised it immediately. I have the photograph, a back view of the three of us walking in Venice. Here is a photograph of it below together with another which was inspired by a bridge in France, near where we stayed, and my favourite piece by Sam, which hung over the mantelpiece.
Senior living
The estate they live on is specifically for Seniors, in English speak that’s old age pensioners. I do prefer the Senior badge I have to say. There are no children living there and there are miles and miles of walks and a fantastic club house. It has an indoor and outdoor swimming pool, gym, meeting rooms and planned activities throughout the day.
There is no reason to be lonely or inactive in this place and the landscaping is wonderful. The backdrop of the Rockies, which were of course covered in snow, makes it a very special place to be. One of the things I noticed in Denver was also very apparent here, lots and lots of butterflies. There is also a lot of water in the form of man made lakes and so not too surprisingly there is a resident flock of geese and of course lots of ducks.
Planes
Nearby there is an airstrip and small planes fly past the window of the house going in to the strip. They are practicing landing and take off all the time. I didn’t manage to snap one to show how close to the house they are. But I managed to capture some of them when we were out walking. Apparently lots of hot air balloons fly over there too. I wasn’t fortunate enough to see one. We put that down to the fact that there was a hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque. A fact that was confirmed later in the week by a woman I met who was from Albuquerque!
I have to say I was extremely taken by the place and felt I could happily live there. But it’s a long way from my boys. Although I am sure they would love to visit and go skiing. Broomfield is also very high up, a mile, so I was having more of an issue with the altitude than I did in Utah. it took me a week to properly acclimatise.
Lightening the load
The best part of the week though was spent with Sam, talking about life and all that good stuff, reminiscing, talking about the future, including me coming back to visit and her coming to England. We took a little trip to Boulder, where they used to live.
I posted a parcel home containing walking shoes and some clothes I decided I didn’t need. It cost a small fortune, but I needed to lighten the load.
It is a beautiful place, a University town, lots of lovely shopping, but I have no room!
We also went for a pedicure, American style, a huge room with special pedicure and manicure stations. Going a bit mad I had paraffin wax on my feet and some salt stuff on my legs. I chose a vibrant pink for my toe nails because I was moving to sunnier parts of the country and the world.
The young Ira
Sam told me a lot about Ira in his younger days too, I only ever knew him as a lawyer and business man. Apparently he was a playwright and had his plays produced for television. He also appeared in commercials advertising American Express or Diners club, can’t remember which! That was where Sam first saw him.
Also a prolific author of books about business and the law, I looked him up on Google and there is huge list of his publications. He was being a little talkative one day and said he wanted to go and teach the law, but we reminded him he is retired now, I’m sure if he wasn’t ill he would still be working in some way.
A lifetime together
Amazingly they have been together for fifty years, yes 50, a complete lifetime. It’s food for thought though that sometimes we bump in to people in one small part of their life and have no idea who they were, or where they have come from. This applies to us all in so many ways.
Me, I am the little girl who sat quietly at the back of the class. I have been a corporate wife and I left school at 16. I owned my own business for 9 years. Built a successful career in IT even within the limitations of the world we live in. Been a mother and a wife, a Chair of Governors at a local school and a Church Treasurer. I digress but it was great to have conversations about their earlier lives and life together. Something I am more interested in and give more thought to today than I did when I was in my thirties. Life moves on and we all grow and change.
Dinner with Kelly and Rick
Kelly and Rick invited us to dinner on Saturday, they live on a similar estate across the highway, get me with my American words, but that estate is for families with the same sort of facilities the seniors have, a big club house and lots of activities. Needless to say both houses were beautiful and spacious, unlike the boxes most of us have to live in back in the UK.
I have had a wonderful week all in all, tinged with a little sadness
Its a small world
When Kelly and I were talking about her job, she said that the company she works for had just been bought by and English company. The CEO and various Directors had just been to visit. She mentioned that the CEO was a member of the House of Lords, oh said I what is his name? Stephen Carter, was the reply.
What a small world. some years ago I was working on a contract to bring all the various telecommunications agencies together into the newly formed Ofcom. The Office of Communications, and he was the Chief Executive of Ofcom. He has of course gone on to bigger things since then, working at one point as a government advisor. I looked him up just to check, and there he was, just looking a little older!
America and Politics
I am not a political animal, but having spent a week with my friends, I did watch more of the news than I would normally and certainly more than I have since arriving here. Needless to say President Trump takes up a lot of airtime, yawn. It’s unbelievable in my view that he is still the President. When I was in St Louis my family said that he would be impeached soon, that was February.
Sam told me that the Supreme Court needs to rule on some things. I should say I am eating lunch and am on my third glass of wine whilst writing this, so I can’t quite remember what they have to decide on! But I know that there is a question mark about many things including the way the Russians were able to influence the election.
However there is also a question about the judges impartiality since the election. The fact that the cards may have been stacked in such a way to stop them making the right decision. The decision that people believe they should make. I am told this could throw the USA into an even worse state of chaos than it currently is.
The Weinstein scandal
The main reason I mention this is that the Weinstein scandal broke this week as well. There seems to be the possibility of a shift in terms of women speaking out for themselves about the sexist society we live in. This is a subject which is close to my heart, and I will try to talk about it from my perspective later.
The woman presenter commented that it was widely known about Weinstein. It was used in comedies and even mentioned in an Oscar presentation, she showed clips of both. She had two younger women on the show, not that age has anything to do with it. They were all talking about how difficult it was in the USA to fight sexism and not just in the arts but in all walks of life. I couldn’t agree more and not just in the USA.
And the president too
They were also talking about the President. What hope is there when there are recordings of him talking about how he behaves towards women and he is not challenged. From my perspective it was a real joy to hear this being discussed so comprehensively on National TV. Do I hold out hope things will change? I doubt it will happen in my lifetime, but anything I can do to make a difference for future generations of women I will.
Then came the snow
Changing the subject we had snow one day, photographs below are of the evening prior and the day itself.
So I have had a wonderful week all in all, tinged with a little sadness. It just goes to show, that some friends are truly friends for life. Thank you Sam and Ira, Kelly and Rick, for your hospitality and I look forward to seeing you again next year.
A few final photographs including planes, snow. Love you both.
Off to the next part of the adventure. See you in Flagstaff if I survive the bus journey!
